Noble Dreams

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#1 Sun 24th May 2009 11:35 am

Senzi
JAG4T(abbr.)
Registered: Fri 14th Mar 2008

Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Poverty is making me crazy and greedy (or money-obsessed)


Sorry but this post will contain elements of ranting and maybe even aggression. Or at least voicing my extreme displeasure at certain key elements of my life. If you don't like such, I suggest you don't read on.


I live in Oslo Norway. This is supposed to be one of the "richest nations on earth." However, that's a major LIE about this country. The STATE is rich, mainly due to the exploitation of our oil resources in the north sea. The country is supposed to be "social democratic" when it comes to politics, but it's a strange mix of socialism and free market policies, which effectively "squeezes" a considerable part of the population into a position where they are poor, have little opportunity to create self-employment, while some of the worlds HIGHEST prices on most consumer products and food makes the poverty so much more tangible. On the other side of the coin, we do have many people who live very good as well. I "happen" to live in the poor part of Oslo (which FOR EVER (since the 1800s at least) has been divided in two, the rich live in the western parts of the city, the poor in the eastern parts).

It may feel true for some percentage of the population that we are rich, but there's extensive "hidden poverty" here.  I guess I'm another one of those. I'm simply stuck on welfare and can't get out. The "services" that are available for those who are outside of the workforce SUCKS ASS, and has eventually (after 30 years or more of total silence on the topic) even become a topic in the national press. We recently had a reform that merged three different welfare departments into one huge "giant," which is called "NAV." Even before then, it was bad, but it's just turned for the worse ever since. It's a bureaucratic monolith that simply doesn't work for thousands and thousands of people, with many examples getting press in the last couple of years. And the people working there... Feels like they're not human most of the time.

There's tons of things I could probably say about that, but that's not why I started this topic.

As I said, poverty is making me crazy and greedy. The more struggle I have with not having more money and always having to just concentrate on "getting through another day," the more I just want money, money, money. I have tried for many years to become more spiritual and "good" I guess you could call it, I don't really know what I should call it. Becoming better as a human being, I guess. But this is reaching a point now where it feels like every bit of progress I've had over the years (ever since I started my awakening process around 2000) could be in danger of "evaporating before the sun." I'm so GOD damn stuck, so god damn unable to achieve anything, that sometimes I feel my longing for DEATH taking over my wish for life. I'm dead tired. Some times I feel like I'm 70 years old or older (I'm 26, turning 27 soon, now). MONEY MONEY MONEY.

I need to go somewhere! I've lived in this HELLHOLE my entire life. I CANT GET ANYWHERE. I just want to be RICH now!!!!! I want to sit on my ass and get 5000 dollars per second like another Bill Gates. I have been having a lot of negative experiences in my life, I think that's part of the reason why I started awakening in the first place. But this terrible situation just never ends! It just goes on and on and on... I've had it with this! Do I need to just start walking out of the city, with a backpack, and just leave it all behind? Coz I'm getting desperate for a change in scenery and, hopefully, circumstances. I feel that if I was just somewhere else, everything would be different!

I have nothing here anymore. My friends are crap, I hate them, they've destroyed me more than anything else. Drugs is very common around here and it's becoming more common by the month. I need a lot of strength to stay away from it, which I've managed to (for the most part) so far, except for cannabis which I spent a few years addicted to (not so addicted anymore, fortunately). I was among the three most educated/smart/knowledge-thirsty guys in my class back in school, one of those guys went on to be a student at OXFORD and traveling all over the world. He had two teachers as parents. I had a single mom as a parent, who worked as a nursing assistant in a psychiatric institution. And I ended up becoming a unemployed loser who has been outside of Norway ONE time since year 2000.

I know I know we create our own reality and all that. But this is/feels so STRUCTURALLY IMPOSED on me I can't really begin explaining it as well as I'd like to.

IT JUST FEELS SO UNFAIR, I can't even begin describing it. Of course, there's even more, there's stuff I really don't want to go into here.

I WANT MONEY AND SUCCESS, OF WHICH I'VE HAD PRACTICALLY NONE OF BOTH, OR ELSE SOON I'LL PROBABLY TURN INTO A *REAL* FAILURE AND START MALFUNCTIONING, AND I MUST CONFESS THAT IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I'VE SOMETIMES ENTERTAINED THOUGHTS LIKE "EITHER I HAVE TO DIE, OR I HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE" BECAUSE THIS JUST CAN'T GO ON. I'M DEAD TIRED AND "AT THE BOTTOM" OF BASICALLY EVERYTHING - I BARELY HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE (or at least, so it feels).

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IT FEELS TO REALLY BE AT THE BOTTOM OF SOCIETY, HAVING TO DO ****MONUMENTAL**** WORK TO SIMPLY ACHIEVE A SLIGHT BETTERMENT OF MY CONDITION, WHICH STILL IN NO WAY WOULD BRING ME TO 1% OF THE POSITION THAT THE TRULY RICH HAVE, AND LACKING EVEN THE ENERGY AND SURPLUS OF HAPPY/GOOD FEELINGS TO EVEN ACHIEVE THAT 1% OF THE RICH PEOPLES OPPORTUNITIES FOR SELF REALIZATION AND OTHER POSITIVES THAT YOU GET BY HAVING MORE THAN YOU NEED?

I LIVE IN WHAT IS SLOWLY TURNING INTO A SHIT HOLE (MY APARTMENT) AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO MAINTAIN THIS DUMP AND KEEPING THINGS CLEAN, AND EVEN KEEPING MYSELF FED IS AT TIMES A CHALLENGE. THINGS ARE ONLY GOING DOWN, IT FEELS, IN SO MANY WAYS.

I just want OUT of here!
Where is my PARADISE!
I know it exists, I want to die and experience it now! But of course, I know that's not a solution either.
But what am I supposed to do? Another thing is I just want to leave Oslo and Norway, and go find more spiritually evolved people so I could start getting my life in order and improving how I live, getting into more positive activities and spiritual practices of various kinds, but I'm totally stuck here.

Everything is simply a big mess, and that MONEY THING is really bringing my vibrations down lately, funny thing is I HATE money, but as you're all well aware, they're needed to survive in this society and also, if you have a lot of them, they also give you a opportunity to realize yourself and live better in many ways (quality supplements for example, to mention one thing).

I thought my enlightenment would bring me into a more positive place eventually. But what it has actually led to is me not fitting in ANYWHERE and being unable to "integrate" myself in the normal workings of things.

I had never in my worst nightmares as a "young'un" imagined that my adult life would be like this.
Things are messed up in so many ways, I can't really explain it all.

I just want to go. GO. GOOOOO!!!! Or get money, so I can at least try to make some changes. This situation is killing me slowly.


Consider this as me "bursting my bubble" so to speak. Why is this "experience" such a nightmare, why does it have to be?
DISSOLVE MY BEING INTO THE ETERNAL FIELD OF BLISS NOW, I HATE THIS PLACE!!!!!



PS.: I'd also like to mention that I've spent many years trying to accomplish what's expected of me, like school and a bit of work, etc. and many times failed at that (especially school). Which I believe is due to me not following MY own path and wishes, but instead suppressing my own desires and wishes and just trying to do what's considered "right and good" by society around me. But now I'm at a point where I don't even know anymore what I want myself.

I have all this love, all these things I know are GOOD within me. But I'm being "raped" full time by this society and this world. And I have no-one to share my love with, either. WHY am I unwanted, why is all those things I'd love to accomplish FOR THE WORLD unwanted, why is the good that is me rejected, hated, raped and pillaged to the point where I'm soon going to turn into a free-for-all CARCASS MEAL, lol lol lol, I'm becoming food for the vultures soon!

It's like I feel like I can't get ANYTHING I want or wish for, so why have any desires or wishes at all? I'm becoming drained, empty and if this does not change, I fear I will eventually "lose" and become robotic/unthinking/lost my soul/a zombie. I'm honestly at my wits end as to what I'm supposed to do now.

I'm a SUPER-VICTIM as the situation is now. SUPER-STUCK, SUPER-VICTIM, SUPER-LOSER, SUPER-NOTHING, SUPER-IDIOT. I guess maybe I just suck and was doomed to loose from the get go? Up up and away (in my dreams)!

Last edited by Senzi (Sun 24th May 2009 04:41 pm)


JAG4T (abbr.) - Just A Guy 4 Truth...

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#2 Sun 24th May 2009 12:30 pm

Senzi
JAG4T(abbr.)
Registered: Fri 14th Mar 2008

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

And P.P.S., I'm actually having shorter periods these last few months where I actually have to GO HUNGRY and don't know where my next meal will come from. I hope some of you can understand this feels a bit bad when living in the (rich) capital of what's supposed to be one of the richest countries on earth! WHICH BY THE WAY IS ALSO EXTREMELY COLD, EMOTIONLESS AND EXCLUDING AS A COUNTRY. So ... It's bad, ok, very bad! MONEEEEY


JAG4T (abbr.) - Just A Guy 4 Truth...

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#3 Sun 24th May 2009 01:53 pm

Falvion
gazing into Mystery
Registered: Mon 11th Feb 2008
Website

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Dear Senzi, your story breaks my heart. I don't have any better advice than what Voici gave you. It's all very good. Do everything she tells you. Seriously. Just doing them will start to make you feel better.

I'm only chiming in to tell you that we love you, though that seems like only words from an ocean and a continent away. But you will be in my heart and thoughts from now on.

We do need you, and we love you.

Hold on, my friend.

hjarta

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#4 Sun 24th May 2009 03:38 pm

Senzi
JAG4T(abbr.)
Registered: Fri 14th Mar 2008

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

It's harder to be poor in a western, rich country than in the third world. This place makes me feel so alone in my misery!
Just take a look at some of the surroundings I'm living in (pics below) - this is actually a pretty great country in quite a lot of ways, and I even have a bit of love for my hometown Oslo, but it's NOT great at all when you're poor like me.
Other than that, it's really true in many ways that we are among the best countries in the world to live in.

Some of my most terrible frustrations lie in being HELD BACK and not being able to contribute and do my part to both better myself personally as well as helping the world forward. As a young kid I had visions and ideas, as well as a DRIVE to become something and do something really remarkable. THAT is what is about to die completely inside me. I'm losing my hope of getting out the good inside, and all the positive ideas and even visions that I used to have...

Some pictures from Oslo, many of these places I see often. Compared to the megacities around the world, Oslo is a very small town (but we also have more well-developed and quality areas in many respects):

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_704899_6109.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v214/117/70/680882116/n680882116_704924_568.jpg
http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_715072_7286.jpghttp://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_715074_3866.jpg
http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_715076_5960.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_715080_5191.jpg
http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_715081_2246.jpghttp://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_716996_5058.jpg
http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_716998_8092.jpghttp://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_716999_1697.jpg

http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/9361/p9270274ah3.jpghttp://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_735059_9892.jpg
http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v198/117/70/680882116/n680882116_735060_198.jpghttp://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v192/117/70/680882116/n680882116_760444_9526.jpg
http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v192/117/70/680882116/n680882116_760448_986.jpghttp://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v192/117/70/680882116/n680882116_760452_2482.jpg

http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807374_8252.jpghttp://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807337_4410.jpg
http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807338_4721.jpghttp://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807375_9018.jpg
http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807344_6679.jpg

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807347_7683.jpghttp://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807348_8013.jpg
http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807350_8679.jpghttp://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v233/117/70/680882116/n680882116_807351_9019.jpg
http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll218/Ingenioren/Oslo/DSC00752.jpghttp://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll218/Ingenioren/Oslo/DSC00795.jpg


I just wanted to show you a bit of Oslo and some of the surroundings I'm dealing with. Of course, many of these were some of the more modern and/or good-looking parts of the city (none of the pics are from the poor parts of town). It's extremely depressing to be such a "failure" (in many MANY peoples eyes, they would all judge me as a complete loser) in a land that's basically "overflowing" with "milk and honey" and actually is full of wealth and successful people... But they sure keep their pockets tight, don't they??

Last edited by Senzi (Sun 24th May 2009 06:21 pm)


JAG4T (abbr.) - Just A Guy 4 Truth...

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#5 Sun 24th May 2009 07:32 pm

Senzi
JAG4T(abbr.)
Registered: Fri 14th Mar 2008

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Voici, thanks for your replies. I will seriously give some consideration to all you have said, and thank you sincerely for caring.
Part of my problem is a sometimes scary feeling of aloneness with these issues I'm struggling with. So any form of reply that shows you actually care, is comforting to some degree (also thanks to Falvion).

Yeah, there were a lot of steel and glass in those shots. I actually chose those on purpose, kind of to show that Oslo has a lot of business and quite a lot of wealth as well.

There's plenty of nature here as well, we can actually take a couple of our metro lines directly into preserved forest areas, which are also close enough to the city to be reachable by foot or bicycle. Norway's nature, if you look at the country overall, is just fantastic, but in eastern Norway, where Oslo is, it's a bit less dramatic. Some Norwegians even think it's boring, it's more flat and forested basically and could probably look a bit like some places in Canada and the northern US.



Look, I'm not really desperate for wealth and money (I fully realize the futility of spending ones life only hunting material things),
but I DO indeed want (quite) a bit more than I have now - mainly because it's preventing me from LIVING at all.


Again, I'll look into everything you've suggested voici, and I really hope I'll find some way out of this rut soon. Thanks for caring!


JAG4T (abbr.) - Just A Guy 4 Truth...

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#6 Mon 25th May 2009 12:01 am

Skyalmian
Member
Registered: Mon 4th Feb 2008

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

I have some advice: if you know of the Higher Self, I recommend you attempt to get into contact with this Being (root you) immediately. There are innumerable ways to do so, but first and foremost, intend some kind of connection. Ask for help, mentally or out loud. Put feeling and emphasis into it. If you're ably able to meditate even a little, doing so during such sessions would be worthwhile. "Ask and ye shall receive." May take time. This Being no doubt does not like seeing you suffering so, but there's freewill and a gap between the two, so making the bridge is worth the attempt. Pray, start up an affirmation list with such statements on it being "I am aligned with and connected to my Higher Self." or whatever you feel is appropriate. Raw emotion / desperation is and has been used to jump the gap before. Look around for ways to connect. Maybe these may help:

The Higher Self
The Reality Enigma (information on Higher Self here)
Exercise: Aligning with Your Higher Self
How to Connect With Your Higher Self through the Wisdom of Your Body

Follow whatever synchronicities or intuition that comes along.

Intending a connection with the root you is the start.

I do hope this information helps.

Last edited by Skyalmian (Mon 25th May 2009 12:13 am)

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#7 Mon 25th May 2009 06:57 am

SW
Member
Registered: Thu 15th Jan 2009

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Hello Senzi,

I am very pleased to meet you. I hesitated to even reply to your post, one of my faults, I never know the right thing to say at the right time. I am so much older than most of the members on this forum, you are all young twenty somethings, and I have now entered the sixty somethings. So I am old in mind and body but still young at heart. I just wanted to let you know that I care, and would give anything to help. You sound very brilliant to me, you write wonderfully. Perhaps that is your gift, and you should utilize it. Look at JK Rowling and where your imagination can take you. As hard as it is try to remember that true riches are not to be found outside of oneself but hidden inside. There is only one you and you are here for a reason, sometimes a hard struggle of a life is the greatest gift one can have. It can give you a very loving heart......

Some very wise thoughts here - take care Senzi, I wish for you to discover the door, and I hope I helped a little.

http://www.kybalion.org/kybalion.asp

A Study of

The Hermetic Philosophy of
Ancient Egypt and Greece

by
Three Initiates

"The lips of wisdom are closed,
except to the ears of Understanding"

The Divine Paradox


"The half-wise, recognizing the comparative unreality of the Universe, imagine that they may defy its Laws--such are vain and presumptuous fools, and they are broken against the rocks and torn asunder by the elements by reason of their folly. The truly wise, knowing the nature of the Universe, use Law against laws; the higher against the lower; and by the Art of Alchemy transmute that which is undesirable into that which is worthy, and thus triumph. Mastery consists not in abnormal dreams, visions and fantastic imaginings or living, but in using the higher forces against the lower--escaping the pains of the lower planes by vibrating on the higher. Transmutation, not presumptuous denial, is the weapon of the Master." -- The Kybalion


http://www.summum.us/about/purpose.shtml

The Purpose and Mission of Summum

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mission of Summum is simply this:

To help you liberate and emancipate you from yourself
and turn you into an Overcomer


It's an age old task that's been passed on from age to age, a responsibility taken upon by sages, adepts, mystics and masters throughout time.



more, more, more...

People live in a world consumed with hopes, wishes, wants, and desires. We seek to possess all manner of things, tangible and intangible. We strive to acquire money, cars, houses, property of all kinds ? we live to possess a husband, a wife, children, a family ? we seek to gain careers, respect, social status, prestige, fame.

People are after cerebral knowledge. We acquire education and in turn leverage it to gain worldly interests. We desire things that charm the intellect. We seek entertainment of the senses and social gratification. We seek experiences that indulge the body.

how do i look?

We seek to possess a certain self-image. We want others to have a certain image about us. We dress ourselves up in clothes, makeup, jewelry, smells and fragrances. We dress ourselves in emotions, feelings, habits, beliefs and other mental belongings.

Each one of us believes him or herself to be the center of the universe, separate from the world. We need to make ourselves known, assert ourselves, and get our piece of the pie.

We become sad or fearful when events don't go the way we think they should. We become mad and angry when we don't get what we want. We throw tantrums to get our way. We manipulate to gain.

We only do things with the intention of receiving even if simple satisfaction is all we receive. That which may appear as the most innocent of actions has subtle strings attached. Even an act of tolerance can have ulterior motives.

listen to me, dammit!

"I know what's right!" we say to ourselves and others. We collect beliefs and judgements to help us forge and build our attitude of correctness. We seek to possess power and control. We seek to possess others by pushing our beliefs upon them. We wage war to force our ways.

We are lured and promised with receiving things in heaven. We are threatened with getting things in hell. We fear loss. We fear death.

We seek to possess a person's love. We love them one day, then we hate them the next. Today we want this, but tomorrow we decide we want that instead. Rhythm swings us between the opposites of our desires.

sigh... if only...

We are seldom, if ever truly content. Having gained something, we look to gain something more or something new. We live our lives in the future, looking towards a time when things will be better because we believe we will be happier after we have acquired something that we have set our eyes upon. We reminisce about the past, about how great things were or how we wish they would have been different.

We are engaged in incessant thought, thinking about the past or pondering the future. Rarely do we live in the present with no thought of tomorrow or yesterday. Rarely are we in the stillness of the moment, in the silence of our own consciousness.

keeping up with the joneses...

"Success" has been defined by what we possess. But striving to be successful has made us prisoners of a conditioned, programmed, and cultivated need to own. We just can't get away from it. Like a moth to the flame, we are driven to the point where we have incarcerated ourselves in attachment.

We are robots, creatures of habit, not questioning why we do the things we do. If someone should suggest that we examine ourselves, we feel threatened and become distressed or angry. We feel we need to protect our "territory."

We are so wrapped up in our self-made collection of material and mental "things," we identify ourselves with them. Totally and completely attached, we are shackled and bound by a ball and chain of our own creation.

the way of the heart...

You are not any of these things and turning life into the pursuit of them has buried your essence and locked you into an illusion.

Life is simply about being. But the gravity of that statement, what "being" actually means, is something that cannot be explained or described. It must be experienced, and it can only be experienced by breaking out of the prison you've created in your mind.

The purpose of Summum is to help you realize your prison and become aware of the blocks you use to build and maintain it. Summum provides tools and an environment to assist you in coming to know and understand yourself. Summum promotes the self study of your own personal psychology and behavior at the deepest of levels.

Through the understanding that you gain, you can free yourself from what you believe to be your mind. You can free yourself from the confining and incarcerating influences of your fears, habits, tendencies, and propensities that you have for so long developed.

Summum provides you with assets that you can apply in your life; assets that will enable you to have a personal experience with your essence and spirit. That experience will lead you beyond belief to the realization that you have an essence which lives on after the death of your physical body.

Following the experience of your essence and spirit, Summum will provide you with assets to develop the "Will" of your essence in order that you may direct your essence along a path of development rather than following along circles of belief, wishes, wants, and hopes. This experience endows your essence with the consciousness to be the master of your life instead of a prisoner of your existence.

Summum is here to show you a door...

"I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it."

~ Morpheus in the 1999 movie, The Matrix


You are in control, journey to that wonderful mind you possess, go to the center of you
http://alchemicalpsychology.com/author/essays.htm
Quote
Awakening to a New Day©
Thom F. Cavalli, Ph.D.

"Are you a man or a god?" Buddha replied, “I am awake.??? Great people always seem to have a way of giving indirect answers. But, their responses leave you to think twice and then realize why they are great. Wisdom doesn’t come from the ego, it flows out of our higher Self. To fully understand Buddha’s response and what it means to be awakened we’ll need to investigate how the mind works, the nature of myth and reality and the psychology of consciousness.

The great mythologist Joseph Campbell made a critical distinction in explaining the power of myth. The difference between a myth that reads like fairy tale and one that reveals wisdom has more to do with how we think than the contents of the story. Campbell pointed out that some people read mythology in a connotative way while others utilize a denotative approach. If, for example, we apply the latter to Buddha’s answer, then we are left with him simply saying that he is physically not sleeping. Taken connotatively, Buddha is telling us much more about the nature of consciousness. In fact, he is not avoiding the question but pointing out that being awake transcends categories of man, mineral, plant or god. In essence, he is declaring his enlightenment.

Before such distinctions were made, people tended to be literal and things were understood in a more concrete way. A rock, for example, could simultaneously be a mineral as well as a container that housed a god. Today, we refer to this way of magical thinking as animistic. Developmentally, both our brain and mind move from a concrete to an abstract psychology while magic predominates the former and religion and spirituality the latter. In early history, magic and science were not distinguished from each other. Magic evolved out of science over the course of many centuries. Hence the saying, “Yesterday’s magic is tomorrow science.???

On the world stage we observe parallel developments between the world below (the concrete, denotative realm) and the world above (the abstract, connotative realm) with links between magic, shamanism and ultimately, modern science. The missing link between the old and the new science is alchemy; it combined in varying balances, the concrete with the abstract, the literal with the connotative, symbolic ways. Historically, alchemy was the first laboratory science, but its experiments included as much psychology, pray and meditation as it did physical manipulation of substances. An alchemist’s workplace typically contained an altar (oratory) and laboratory; the reality of matter and “the stuff of which dreams are made??? went into transmuting minds and metals into superior creations.

To an alchemist, Buddha’s reply indicated a very high degree of conscious realization, what they symbolized as the philosopher’s stone. This stone, the lapis, was no ordinary rock, but rather a stone that had extraordinary properties to transmute inferior substances into superior forms. These transformations were both material as well as mental. In other words, success depended on experimental procedures and extraordinary changes in the mind of the adept. To be awake meant that the alchemist and his product had transcended the limiting categories of the materialistic world.

All too often we dismiss these early pioneers as quacks, charlatans or greedy money-mongers. But, in doing so we also discount great scientists, men like Isaac Newton, a prodigious alchemist, and products, like alcohol, sulfuric acid and brandy that were derived from alchemical experimentation. In fact, we would need to reconsider one of the most powerful branches of contemporary science – quantum physics. For it is no less radical in collapsing the major categories of time, space and energy than alchemy. To a quantum physicist, being awake is no more than one of many possibilities open to consciousness, each having its own probability of manifesting in reality. The alchemists, like the ancient Chinese philosophers, believed that subjective variables play a crucial role in invention as well as discovery. Synchronicity is closer to their nature than the cause and effect paradigms of the Western world. Like quantum physics, alchemy has a dream-like quality inasmuch as it strives to imagine what is happening in nature per se instead of models superimposed on it.

Quantum physicists tag potential events with some degree of probability, but psychologically it becomes increasingly more difficult to do this as events stray further and further from the rational realm. Obviously, the probability that I will get some sleep tonight is high, but what is the probability that I will dream of Hermes or my neighbor?

That we dream also carries a high probability because all mammals dream. In fact, humans dream an average of ninety minutes every night. A better question is whether we recall our dreams the next day. Unfortunately, I suspect that this probability is rather low due to our tendency to reduce the value of dreams by using a denotative approach. The mind either takes for granted literal events or dismisses others that don’t make sense. Taken at face value dreams appear confused and useless. But, if we consider dreams from a connotative viewpoint, then a whole new world opens up.

Dreams occur in four REM (rapid eye movement) cycles. EEG tracings show that dreams happen as we move out of deep sleep and toward waking. Most of us avoid waking up out of a dream unless it is a nightmare, in which case we sometimes deny the terror simply by regaining consciousness. Neuroscientists have theorized that dreaming and memory are intricately related and have shown that the neuro-pathways used during sleep are the same used during our waking hours. Dreams are the means by which memories become consolidated into the permanent record.1 Thus, they create and store our personal “version??? of the past. Might the same thing be said about the making of a future? The whole notion of time as a linear sequence has been open to question beginning at least with Einstein for modern physics and countless centuries before by mystics. It was Einstein who said, “People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.???2

Theories of hyperspace suggest that time as we generally know it, is a peculiar characteristic of three-dimensional space. These theorists hold that there may be as many as ten dimensions. This expanded view of nature may have been what C.G. Jung meant in his closing words of his final major book, Mysterium Coniunctionus, “Alchemy, therefore, has performed for me the great and invaluable service of providing material in which my experience could find sufficient room, and has thereby made it possible for me to describe the individuation process at least in its essential aspects.???3 In other words, Jung turned to alchemy in the same way contemporary scientists envision a larger conception of nature in order to transcend the limitations of the mechanistic model of a Newtonian worldview. But, how does the everyday person deal with the demands of life that push out creativity, imagination and in essence, the soul? Where do we find “sufficient room??? to explore the world beyond surface appearances?

Dreams may well be the last great reservoir of inspiration; a place (rsw), as the Egyptians referred to dreams, where we go at night that is unbounded by rules of conventional reality; a futile place with more room for individuating consciousness. Might dreams be one of these ten dimensional places that hyperspace theorists are describing in their mathematical models? If so, then dreams are the future of that “persistent illusion??? that transcends time and space. As theoretical physicist Fred Alan Wolff points out in his work, we create reality in dreams.4 To transform this sci-fi notion into substantial reality depends on how we regard dreams. We know that matter is physically affected by consciousness. This “observer effect??? is real only to the extent that a person truly accepts this well-established finding as fact and uses it. For this to happen, most people must accept that reality is changed every night, whether or not we take our dreams seriously.

In Hindu philosophy, dreams are not limited to the night. Maya is the goddess who spins out a web of illusion that we take for reality. When we knock on a piece of wood, we believe that it is solid. Particle physicists are showing that this is not the case at all. The energy created by the spin of particles is so great that whenever some other mass comes into contact with it, it is repelled. This energetic collision gives us the illusion that objects are solid. This illusion is generally referred to as Maya. But, as Campbell tells us, this trick of perception is only one of Maya’s three powers.5 The second power parallels the findings coming out of physics: creating reality through projection.6 This has immediate practical implications. Instead of passively receiving dreams, we can actively use them to create a world through projection.

There was a time when the world followed simple, sequential rules: past precedes future, response follows stimulus, etc. No longer is the world as simple as we once thought. As in dreams, life doesn’t always accord to this neat sequence of events. In the world of quantum physics, two “entangled??? particles can be at any distance from each other and what happens to one directly affects the other in an identical way. In the quantum world, a potential response somehow sends a wave that affects the stimulus.7 If this sounds like “spooky science??? it is because we have ingrained habits about how reality ought to behave. Dreams remind us every night that the natural world doesn’t accede to our need for clear-cut categories or linear sequences that make for common sense.

That we can project our mind into the future and in return the object of our projection simultaneously exerts a force that influences whether we will act in particular way sounds like magic. Dreams, which are generally unconscious projections of thoughts and feelings, also have this power to influence life. A friend of mine had a dream in which he found himself craving a cherry coke, his favorite beverage. At one o’clock in the morning, he awakened with this craving that he couldn’t ignore. Despite the hour he got up and drove to the nearest convenience store. They didn’t have cherry coke and he settled for some ice tea. As he was driving home, he inexplicably lost control of his car and was quickly pulled over by the police. They thought he was drunk until it became clear that he was dying. They rushed him to the emergency room where, after being examined, he was diagnosed with kidney failure. Later when he recovered and the doctor took a more extensive history, the cause of his problem was discovered. Two weeks prior to this crisis he had been bitten by an infected tic. If my friend did not have this dream, he may well have stayed in bed and died that night.

In the quantum world, dreams have an effect on the dreamer. Dreams arise from different levels of the unconscious. There are many types of dreams that relate to situations, conditions and circumstances. In one book I counted fifteen types of big dreams. For example, there are lucid, pregnancy, collective, initiation, telepathic, clairvoyant and dreams within dreams.8 Regardless of the type, dreams have an autonomous quality. In the healing dream sited above, the unconscious seemed to be looking after my friend, protecting him from a life-threatening situation. It was this quality of dreams, meditations and prayer that the alchemist relied on in working with the unconscious. Modern physics is providing evidence to substantiate what alchemists intuitively knew centuries ago. Many examples can be given to validate this claim. But, one of my favorites comes from the Cyranides9, a Hermetic compilation that describes ???in exhaustive detail…the sympathies, antipathies and other occult properties of birds, fishes, plants and stones.??? Harpocration of Alexandria wrote one of the sources in the Cyranides in the second century. When asked, “Tell me …is the soul immortal or mortal???? Harpocration responds by saying,

    Many of the inexperienced have false opinions as to the intellectual aspect of the immortal soul. But the soul is its own master; for when the body is at rest on its bed, the soul is reposing in its own place (in the air, that is to say), whence we received it; and it contemplates what is happening in other regions. And often, feeling affection for the body in which it dwells, it foretells good or ill years before it comes to pass – in what we call a dream. Then it returns to its own habitation and, waking it [the body] up, explains the dream. From this let it be clear to you that the soul is immortal and indestructible. (89)

Maya’s third power is discovering reality as it really is, what is variously called in different traditions the Veda or gnosis. This is the opposite of projection. To see reality without all the desires, demands and distortions of how we twist it to our purpose, this is what Buddha meant when he said, “I am awake.???

The homeopathic maxim that emerged from alchemy, “like cures like,??? suggests that if we hope to acquire Maya’s third power we can use dreams to wake us up from the illusion that waking life is the one and only true reality. The famous Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus states, “As above, so below for the making of the One Thing.??? This One Thing is a creation of many realities, including psyche and soma, spirit and soul, waking and dreaming states. The “real gold??? of enlightenment is awakening to the fact that humans are some part human and some part divine, the balance and the integration of these parts is what we hope to achieve through the psychological and spiritual work of individuation. In my own work, I find that when I awaken after a good night’s sleep, the dream continues to flow into the day and with my awareness of what is taking place, I have the power to create a new world that is richer and more beautiful than ever I could have imagined without the gifts bestowed on me by God.


©Copyright by Thom F. Cavalli, Ph.D. All rights reserved. For permission to quote or reprint this article contact Dr. Cavalli at 714.731-3238.

Thom F. Cavalli, Ph.D. is a practicing psychologist, lecturer and author of Alchemical Psychology, Old Recipes for Living in a New World, published by Putnam 2001.

Notes
1 - The term used by neuroscientist to describe this phenomenon is called cortical integration. See The Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel, Guilford Publications, New York, 1999.
2 - cf. Hyperspace by Michio Kaku, Oxford University Press, New York, 1994, p. 232.
3 - Mysterium Coniunctionis, C.G. Jung, volume 14 of the Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Bollingen Foundation, NY, 1963, p. 556.
4 - I particularly recommend Fred Alan Wolf’s book, The Dreaming Universe, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1994.
5 - Campbell describes these three powers in his book, Myths of Light, New World Library, Novato, CA, 2003, p. 49
6 - The use of the word projection is not used here in its psychoanalytic definition, i.e. an ego defense mechanism.
7 - The term used by physicists to describe this phenomenon is the quantum wave function.
8 - I am referring to the book by Krippner, Bogzaran and de Carvalho, Extraordinary Dreams and How to Work with Them, SUNY Press, Albany, NY 2002.
9 - Fowden, Garth, The Egyptian Hermes, Princeton University Press, New Jersey, 1986, p. 86.

A most wonderful book!
   
I hope I have said a little of the right thing at the right time. I pray that all will go well for you Senzi. You have lots of caring friends here.


HOPE is the thing with feathers   
That perches in the soul,   
And sings the tune without the words,   
And never stops at all        Emily Dickinson

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#8 Mon 25th May 2009 06:59 am

metaphor
On the road to somewhere...
From:
Registered: Thu 14th Feb 2008

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Hei du,  Senzi.

Having much money doesn´t make anyone truly happy, but the lack of even the most crucial fundings can make a man to be very unhappy. Wich seems to apply to you.
Life can be heaven, or it can be HELL. I´ve seen both. Still experience both. But not this very day.

I basically see 2 choices to make. Either you stay and keep hitting the wall everytime you attempt to change your life, or you JUST LEAVE/ or DO SOMETHING VERY UNEXPECTED AND ALMOST FOOLISH. Make a clean cut with everything, be it family, friends, apartmentetc. Go and live somewhere else, your life is killing you (we are constantly dying every minute since we are born anyway).
Why keep living in a dirty cage you hate?

Or you could go and rob a bank, would you be happy then??? hmm

And it could surely be worse. You could be a street bum, a refugee, an incest-victim, a Gitmo-detainee etc. need I go on? Hell has got many colours on its palette. You know this too.

I had a similar problem like yours up until just a month ago. And I have a lovely girlfriend (a true soulmate and lifecompanion), 2 lovely kids (2 angels from heaven), a job many would envy (though I hate it), A really good place to live (though we have to have a huge loan on the bank).
Being uncomfortble and feeling like a "slave in the grid", came to me too. Despite being among "the fortunate ones" (what is fortune anyway?) It almost drove me crazy. I said to myself : "-I´m loosing my soul here! gotta get out!"

I therefore have done a (almost) clean cut with my current situation. I´d recommend the same for you. Just leave! Find another field to play in.
SURPRISE YOURSELF AND shock THE UNIVERSE- DO SOMETHING VERY UNEXPECTED AND BRAVE. SOMETHING THAT FEELS ALMOST UNLOGICAL AT FIRST BUT LATER WILL PROVE BEING THE ONLY WAY TO SHOCK THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR PROBLEM- wich seems to be stagnation.

I´m on sick leave due to a "depression" (doctors words, not mine. I know its a healthy reaction to an unhealthy situation feeling low and frustrated) wich i´m gonna follow up with not returning to my soulless and numbing job.
We have sold our apartment, to everyones surprise since it virtually makes us homeless (how unresponsible parents) and are going to the countryside to live, like a time out.
This was important for to be able to push things forward. It almost felt a bit ritualistic actually. You didn´t see that one coming, universe, so what will you do now? Almost like an unexpected and illogical chessmove that will confuse and perplex the opponent i.e. yourself.

I remember when I was your age (I´m 36) that I felt very paralyzed and restrained by outside forces.
This could in your case be that hormones and physicality is playing to much of a importance in your daily life? Could it be that by focusing on the lack of fundings this becomes your reality? You mentioned that you are pretty well informed in these matters, so its just a thought from me to you, perhaps you know whats wrong better than me. You are your lifes creator, dont think for a minute  that you are powerless just because it seems so. Thats a lie, big time.

I do think you deserve a time out. Summer is coming, why not buy a tent and live in nature for some time? The trees and norwegian fjords could give you the answers you are seeking. Happiness doesn´t come from trivial pleasures like sex or money or something else. It comes from within. Its all about viewpoint. I do not think you live in a situation and physical occupation that supports or sustain that. It seems to me you are meant for greater things. Go find them.

Write a book, travel, take job on a boat that travels far and wide, live in the woods, go around naked, molest a cop just to see what happens, hitch-hike to the continent, get a dog or cat, I don´t care what you do , you just need to break that feeling of stagnation.
The money won´t come until you break free. Feeling empowered is not an overnight thing, you need to get your coolness and objectiveness back.

I live in Stockholm, feel free to drop by for a beer anytime.
SKÅL storstark

Last edited by metaphor (Mon 25th May 2009 10:46 am)


On the path to something...

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#9 Mon 25th May 2009 10:39 am

Ayahuasca
Shaman
From: Peru
Registered: Fri 22nd Feb 2008
Website

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

That's really great advice Metaphor.

I think Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Wise words indeed.

So I would follow Metaphor's advice and do something completely different. The only thing that's keeping you where you are is you. There are millions of opportunities out there right now, you just need to really focus on finding one that's right for you. Just follow your heart/intuition and you will find something.

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#10 Mon 25th May 2009 11:10 am

Ayahuasca
Shaman
From: Peru
Registered: Fri 22nd Feb 2008
Website

Re: Poverty is making me crazy and greedy

Another thing I would like to add is the importance of getting out and meeting new people as much as possible. Opportunities to do something different rarely appear out of thin air, but they do come through other people.

I'm a freelance web designer, I don't usually have an abundance of work but I always have enough to get by (which is how I like it), and I almost never advertise. Almost all my clients come through recommendations from other people or clients, or else they're people I meet in a variety of different social situations. I've picked up new clients drinking in the pub.

So get out and meet new people. Let people know you're looking for opportunities do something different with your life. It doesn't have to be a job necessarily, but perhaps an opportunity to learn a new skill that could lead to a job.

As I said before, opportunities are everywhere, you just have to go out and find them.

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